There is not a single instance in life when this word
is not with us. At the time of birth, to grow up, to
learn basic activities of life, for doing job or business,
for the expectations of family, for your dreams, and
in last moments; earn a bit of breath for life. We are
always struggling to fulfill those expectations which
are anticipated with us.
You have to face all. You cannot avoid or leave any
one of these for the sake of others. At the same time
everything should be balanced.
For me real struggle starts when you start putting
different interpretation for situations. That is to say;
one which you are getting from your surrounding and
another is your own perception; and you think you
have better one.
Here is a story on same line. I should say this is
based on true incident. Perhaps someone in you is
facing it now or already experienced it.
We shall discuss this story in three parts.
• Personal Struggle
• Professional Struggle
• Family Struggle
This story belongs to Mohit who encountered with
all these phases. He followed his own perception and
got succeeded as well.
Janardan Suri was an electrical engineer in a
government department in Noida, UP. Wife Geeta,
son Mohit and daughter Neeta were the family. Geeta
was housewife. Both children were studying in a
Some of his neighbors and colleagues were like
family. Some of his relatives were settled in metro cities
and some were NRIs. They are having get together in
different occasions or festivals.
So he was connected with all types of ideologies
whether traditional or modern and perfectly
maintaining consistency on both fronts. Though
he do desire to live like his NRI relatives but he
has to maintain compatibility as per his current
He was very neutral towards his children. How
they are growing? Who are their friends? What are
their ambitions? etc.; he do not mind its importance.
For daughter; he thought as usual like after graduation
she will get marry and for son; he will do something or
would arrange a shop in trade complex.
Neeta was in same line as she never has job or
business intentions. She do take interest in domestic
But Mohit was having different plan. He was
dreaming for very professional life. He was getting an
added push on his dream when his NRI cousins were
around. He was always trying to know that what type
of books they are reading? What they want to become?
What activities they are doing to achieve their goal? etc.
Many more questions.
When his cousins were explaining about their
routine or how their parents take care of their
ambition; he feels negligence on this part from his
side. Sometimes he tried to get answers with his
parents but getting very unwanted reply like I have
achieved this position by fighting even worse situation
or your tuition teacher can help you on this.
It was not a question that how his father was
replying, but the question was, why he himself was not
trying to know his ambitions? Why he is not taking
interest on these discussions?
Because he was not getting replies as per his
expectation; it was causing frustration on him. He
was trying to get suitable answers from different
sources but it was not as satisfactory as he expected.
He was trying digital platforms also but it is just
theoretical part to read. Its practical implementation
was always lacking.
His half answered curiosity got his frustration
on next level. He started minding nonsense things
like Why should I be so cultured? Why am I feeling
inferior to my cousins? Why my family is not living
as my relatives are? Why they are not wearing stylish
cloths? Why do I not have professional attitude?
And many more.
But he had decided that he will not compromise
with his ambitions. He will change the things.
Targeting his dream career; he started to learn
all activities which are required to get him on
destination. Logical discussions, practical attitude,
professional body language, attractive personality,
good etiquettes etc.
Since it was all total different way he was following;
sometimes his neighbors or friends were making joke
on him. He was awarded with a number of nick names
like sirji, boss, netaji etc. But it was not a matter of joke
for him. He was committed for his dreams.
Gradually this becomes feeling of loneliness for
him. He got feeling of hesitation to meet his closed
ones. It’s similar situation there in school as well. They
all were enjoying their present lifestyle and he was
planning for future. He never liked his present.
After schooling; he got selected for IIT and got
admission in New Delhi collage. Though it was just two hours’
drive from his home town but to minimize his expenses;
he shifted to hostel and further joined a coaching class
as tutor to reduce monetary burden on his father. He
was preparing food himself and using public transport
Normally he was avoiding parties with friends just
to minimize his expenses but certainly not always.
Sometimes it was him as showstopper.
In the final semesters, he joined management
coaching along with engineering classes. He got
selected for IIM.
It was the place where he got everything which he
wanted to grow up with. A professional environment,
logical discussions, etiquettes, corporate hierarchies’,
leadership qualities and many more.
After completing management course; he got
campus placement for a multinational as senior
Till now he got engaged with two types of ideologies.
One which he got from his family and another which
he developed himself. It was two different point of
view for same instance.
He was at third level of hierarchy in corporate
structure and responsible for many important projects.
Whatever he learned till now; it was same approach
he followed for his job. But he started facing different
type of working style here and that was; ‘Unethical competition’.
His counterpart who reports to same boss
was having dominant attitude. He always had
intention to show his team best by hook or
crook. He wanted to get promoted for next
level as soon as possible.
For Mohit also there were many subordinates
in his team who have same working style as his
Because of similar working style, some of his
subordinates have friendly relation with his
counterpart. His counterpart convinced them
to work for him (e.g. try to delay or avoid some
of your responsibilities) and he will take care
of them if anything happened wrong.
His counterpart have good relation with some
domestic and international clients as well. He
also convinced them to apply unusual ways for
subordinates who were working under Mohit.
e.g. if they are getting any issue, try to get them
in non-working hours, escalate non-essential
issues, looping top management in those
escalations etc. Even he convinced those clients to put a non supportive impression for Mohit on his boss.
Mohit was knowing that his team is more efficient
but he becomes loser because he was following those
predefined ways which he had been taught for. He
seems to be defensive rather aggressive. He himself
and other loyal team members were not happy with
current approach. Mohit realized this and decided to
use similar format of competition as his counterpart
have. He got strongly convinced that it is required for
survival. He have to be a multi mindset leader.
Instead of pattern approach, he stared using
situational approach. For ethical; it’s ethical and for
unethical; it’s unethical. He was even more proactive.
He had more aggressive follow up on all activities
which were related with projects. Especially he was
keeping watch on them who were intentionally
wanted to delay or scrap them.
All team members have pre-defined responsibilities, set time lines and a strict
instructions to not compromise with project target.
His team members are now happy with his
multidimensional working style. Even his boss too.
In this whole process, he always keep in mind that
deserving candidate should not be left behind; even
if he is from opposite team. He proved this during
promotion. A deserving candidate from opposite team
was not promoted because of his current approach to
handle competition. He honestly realized this. Since
he was a strict follower of “Company is top priority”
policy; he started working on plan to compensate it.
He got an onsite project and directly recommended
his name to work on it.
Now he was enough experienced to handle a team
by emotionally or practically. Also he was far ahead in
the race of senior post.
He got married with his colleague. His father also
Till now he was succeeded to achieve everything
whatever way he wanted it to be. Now it was time to
balance his personal and professional life.
His father was retire now and mother also have
some physical issues. His father was in need of some
support for handling responsibilities which he was not
able to handle because of age issue.
Mohit could feel this situation. He got transferred
to Gurugram head office which was near to his home
town. Nearly every weekend he went to meet his parents.
It was Sunday today. Though it was not any
occasion but his father was very happy. He said that
they will go for picnic and then dinner in best hotel in
town. He also called some of his closed ones.
One of his friend ask him reason. He said; my son
always fight to get his own ways and got succeeded.
At the same time he balanced everything. I wanted to
celebrate his success.
Mohit was in Singapore for board meeting. His son
called him in evening and ask; Dad, what is “struggle’?
Mohit think for a while and said; son, just give me
five minutes. I will call you back.
He disconnected the call and started laughing
loudly. Probably he was sure that his son will never